And so, it happens again

I shouldn't be surprised. And really I'm not. I'm just sad.

A college freshman jumped off a bridge, after his roommate posted a video of him making out with another man.

I could say a lot of things here, about stupid people not understanding the potential consequences of their actions, about the complete impropriety of videotaping someone who doesn't know they're being filmed. I could rail about homophobic bastards being cruel, or about people who think homosexuality is just a cheap joke to throw out for an easy laugh. I could get on a high horse and talk about human decency and how it's been lost in the internet age, or I could come up with cheap platitudes about how this should be a lesson to us all to treat each other with kindness.

But none of it would make a bit of difference. Because the kid's already dead.

He's only one of hundreds of gay teens who kill themselves every year. And until our entire society opens its eyes and collectively says "what the fuck are we doing wrong?" it's going to continue.

Books

An incredibly long time since I've posted anything here. Being back in the US makes it difficult to make internationally-themed observations, and I've been too damn busy for the past few months to make posts. But I'm back on, in the name of literature, because I started reading a new book that criticizes one of my favorite books, and this is naturally something that interests me enough to write about.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides is quite possibly one of my favorite books ever. An intersexed protagonist, an adventurous journey, the stories of multiple generations in a family woven together, an immigration tale...I thought it was a masterpiece when I first read it, and I gave copies to several people before coming out to them, if I wasn't entirely sure how they would react. Middlesex is in many ways the book I want to write and the book I wish I'd written. Imagine my surprise, reading another gender-related book, to find that my esteem was not universal.

I've just started reading Intersex (for lack of a better word), which I had picked up months ago when Lambda Rising closed (depriving DC of its resident gay bookstore and leaving a hole in the pattern of my wanderings around Dupont Circle). The book is set up as a set of mini-stories and essays, and one of the first ones has to do with Middlesex.

She opens by saying:

"People keep asking me about Jeffrey Eugenides' new novel Middlesex because the main character is considered a hermaphrodite and so am I. But really, neither of us are. Outside of myth, there are no hermaphrodites. It is physiologically impossible to be both fully male and fully female."

I was a bit confused by this opening. Last I checked, "hermaphrodite" meant possessing the external sex characteristics of both genders, to a greater or lesser degree. I checked with the online dictionary, and found these definitions.

hermaphrodite her·maph·ro·dite (hər-māf'rə-dīt')
n.
An individual having the reproductive organs and many of the secondary sex characteristics of both sexes.


her·maph·ro·dite
   /hɜrˈmæfrəˌdaɪt/ Show Spelled[hur-maf-ruh-dahyt]–noun
1.an individual in which reproductive organs of both sexes are present. Compare pseudohermaphrodite.
2.Biology . an organism, as an earthworm or plant, having normally both the male and female organs of generation.
3.a person or thing in which two opposite qualities are combined.


Nothing in those definitions indicates that one would have to be "fully" both genders to fall into the category of "hermaphrodite." But this is a dictionary, and not even a medical one, and WebMD was remarkably silent on the subject. But clearly the word has non-dictionary revealed subtext, or the author wouldn't be so "fuming and hot with shame as [Eugenides] called me and people I love hermaphrodites."

I admit, I hadn't realized that the term was offensive until I read that. To me it had always been a medical term, distinguished from the term intersex as indicating morphology, rather than hormones or genetics. Creating further complication, there are people who actually do identify with the term hermaphrodite in its medical sense, as indicated by this short page on "Being a True Hermaphrodite."

The author of Intersex accuses Eugenides of having "never actually talked to an intersex person before he published that book," and I don't know if that's actually true or not. She further accuses him of "being yet one more person profiting off the selling of intersex people as freaks of nature." I would disagree with that statement. When I read Middlesex, I thought that Eugenides did an excellent job of making Cal the protagonist three-dimensional and human, not a freak at all. But then, I'm not intersexed, so what do I know? Maybe I'm just one more ignorant person projecting my views onto the world. Or maybe the real anger in the essay has less to do with Middlesex as a book, and more to do with the fact that the book that drew attention to the intersex population was written by a normal heterosexual male.

The main thing this essay teaches me is that I need to be careful. In my own writing, I'm working on a story with a transgendered protagonist. I don't want it to be said that I'm "exoticizing" gender variance. Truth be told, I don't find it that exotic. Interesting, yes. Exotic, no. I've had friends and acquaintances all over the gender continuum, enough to know that, aside from their relation to the binary, they're people like any others. But again, because I'm not trans myself, there's always that danger, in the event of my writing becoming successful, that I'll be seen as speaking for or about a population that I don't actually belong to. If and when I ever finish this particular project, I fully plan to run it by my trans friends, to make sure that it passes muster. But I still have to wonder if, someday down the line, someone will write a similarly angry piece about my writing, because I had the audacity to write something that they had not yet dared.

An Amazing Project

A month or so ago, I found out that there's a new version of Our Bodies, Our Selves in the works, through their blog. They wanted to be sure that they included some LGBT perspective, so I filled out their questionnaire. I figured I should do my part to have gay and genderqueer women represented in the puberty/women's health bible.

Then I found this. Awesomeness upon awesomeness. It's a resource guide of the Our Bodies, Our Selves variety, put together by a completely different team of people, and focused completely on trans and genderqueer issues. Identity, body stuff, legal stuff, it will all be in there. And that's amazing. If I had found a book like that at a library when I was fifteen it probably would have clarified a lot of things for me. I'm so happy that someone is finally putting something like this together. I added my two cents to the survey, and I'll probably submit cameos to
a few of the chapters as well.

The fact that a book like this can even be conceived is a sign that genderqueer people are actually beginning to be recognized as people now. The demographic is recognizable and extant and has purchasing power. This makes me incredibly glad.

What Sex is Your Brain?

Today, salon.com posted an article about brain sex, including a link to a quiz powered by the BBC. Naturally curious, I took the quiz to determine whether or not my brain is male or female.

The quiz consists of six sections, each of which is supposed to determine a different aspect of your brain's gender. Part one of the test measures your ability to match different angles, generally considered to be a more male ability. Part two asks you to clasp your hands together and then indicate which thumb is on top, which theoretically tells you which side of the brain is dominant. Part three test your ability to "empathise and systemize," and part four tests your ability to recognize emotions based on pictures of peoples' eyes. Part four asks you to measure your fingers, part five asks you to compare different faces for overall attractiveness, and part six asks you to rotate 3D shapes in your mind.

My result? Completely gender neutral. Big surprise. Behold: I'm smack dab in the middle.



While I'm gratified to find that there's semi-scientific evidence that backs up my general feelings of genderfuck, I have to question certain aspects of the test. The segments testing the ability to recognize angles and mentally rotate complex objects are fairly straightforward and standard, and the word association section is badly designed but otherwise not problematic.

Some of the other sections, though, are pretty dubious. Mainly I have to question two: the finger length and the attractiveness scale tests. Finger length definitely says something about prenatal hormones: most straight men and lesbians have a longer ring fingeer than index finger, and most straight women and gay men have longer index fingers than ring fingers. I certainly have classic lesbian fingers, and I can see the value in looking at finger length as part of overall gender development. But I question the place of finger measurements in what is otherwise an almost wholly cognitive test. Likewise I question the right-side/ left-side dominance test as determined by which thumbs you cross. It doesn't seem to take into account right- and left-handedness, which to the best of my knowledge are evenly distributed between the genders.

Beyond the finger tests, I have to question the attractiveness test. In this test, the subject is asked to differentiate between several similar faces and indicate which one they find most attractive. According to the results, I prefer more "feminine" features. Well enough. But through that whole section, I was thinking that none of the people photographed were people I'd be likely to ask on a date. And because the pictures were photoshopped to emphasize or de-emphasize certain features (to be more "masculine" or "feminine," though I don't know how they define those terms), I generally found the photos that had been tinkered with the least to be the most attractive. So the data may be skewed.

I do find gender differences fascinating. And I would love to see a more in-depth and expansive study or self-quiz to determine how peoples' brains are gendered. As salon says, this is your average Cosmo-type quize, only with a dash of science thrown in. When they come up with a quiz that's more science and less Cosmo, I'll be very interested to see the results.

Welcome back to America, Land of the Free

Ah, America. I've been back for almost two months now, writing a lot and looking for a job and housing. I seem to have finally found a place to live, pending paperwork, but so far the only employment I've found has been a one-time gig as a photograpy school model and a one-time gig as a tutor for a thirteen-year-old. Today, the father of the thirteen-year-old called me and asked if I would be interested in teaching English as a second language to latinos. I said sure. At this point I'm interested in almost anything that would result in a semiregular paycheck. So we talked a bit about my teaching experience and things, and then, when the conversation seemed like it was wrapping up, he said, "I don't know why I'm getting this vibration, but I feel I should ask you, do you have a boyfriend?" Before I could answer he continued. "I know its a personal question, but I need to know you're not a child molester...do you like girls or boys?" My first instinct was to tell him that it was illegal to ask me questions about my personal life in a professional context. Instead I laughed and said, " Don't worry, I'm not a child molester. I don't have a boyfriend, but I'm not interested in dating." But he continued, "It's a simple question, just answer, you know I'm asking as a parent, etc. etc." and I just said again that I wasn't interested in anyone, full stop, and that as a teacher or tutor I'm always very professional. He finally accepted that and left it alone.

What I really want to know is, what prompted him to even ask that question? I'm not obviously gay. At least not when I'm by myself. Being in the vicinity of my girlfriend ups my obviousness exponentially, but he's never seen me anywhere near her. And I certainly didn't display any interest whatsoever in his daughter beyond wanting her to rewrite her essay. I didn't like thirteen-year-olds even when I was one. I understand not wanting to hire a pedophile. That would be dangerous. But not wanting to hire a lesbian is just absurd. It's not like it's contagious to be gay. And I have no doubt that if I'd admitted to being sapphic in my orientation the offer of potential employment would have been rescinded faster than you can say "ACLU." It's nice to see that discrimination is alive and well.

Drag (Queen) Racing!

Last night was the annual Halloween Drag Queen Race near Dupont Circle. It was fabulous, as only an event featuring that much gratuitous glitter can be. Drag queens, drag queens everywhere, with ballgowns and lipstick and high heels, oh my. Several were arrayed in getup from musicals, complete with sequined marquees proclaiming which ones they were from. There were Elphaba and Glinda from "Wicked," a heavily made-up feline from "Cats," and a very large middle-aged "Annie," complete with bright orange wig. There was a very elegant Cruella DeVille, a classic devil in a red dress, and an acompanying cupid wearing a loincloth and wings and nothing else. Continuing in the theme of semi-nudity were a toga made from a rainbow flag and a feather boa bikini.

The queens all paraded around, blowing kisses to the audience before the race began. At the word "go" all parties began the three-block race in high heels, some with alacrity, some not. The front runners in the race were moving faster than I can run even without heels. The middle section was a scene of ballgowned mayhem, and the theatre crowd, hampered by their giant marquees, brought up the rear. They were followed only by the queens who had decided that real running wasn't worth it and they would just prance along in exaggerated mincing steps only marginally faster than walking.

The whole race only took about ten minutes, and then the crowd converged for photo opportunities. I was swept along by the human wave until I managed to break free and hit the metro. Sadly, I'd left my camera at home so had no way to preserve the fabulosity for posterity.

National Equality March

Today was the National Equality March in DC, to put pressure on Obama to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act. I did already blog about this on my more "official" blog, so all I'll say here is that it was awesome, both in the turnout (official counts are now over 200,000) and in how positive it all was. Almost celebratory. We haven't got our rights yet, but we made a damn good showing, and it's the largest gathering of gay people and supporters I've ever seen. Having just spent the better part of two years in countries where homosexuality Does Not Exist and/or Is Not Discussed, it was great to be in an environment where everyone was pro-gay. There weren't even that many counterprotestors. One truckful that jeered as we were waiting to get started, and a small knot of rather disgruntled churchgoers with a megaphone on one corner. I was marching with the UU church, which was marching behind a Jewish group, which I think was marching behind another religious group. So as we passed the bigots who were telling us that god hates fags, we all started chanting "god doesn't hate." They looked peeved. It might have burst their bubble to see church banners and rainbow banners marching side by side.
The other amazing thing was that at the beginning of the parade, when we were all gathered and waiting to move, we looked up and spotted a rainbow. Faint, but nevertheless there. We took it as a good sign. Apparently even god/deity/skyborne light particles were joining in the gay pride.

Strange Conversations in Mongolia

This morning I arrived in Ulaan Baator. Mongolia is one of my favorite places, and the local guide here is one of my favorite people on the road. Very friendly, very cheerful, very educated. We get on quite well in a travelers' camaraderie sort of way, but we've never had a terribly serious conversation about anything outside of tourism. So I was taken aback this morning when, at 7am, he asked me about homosexuality.
"You know, the last group that came here, there were a lot of people who were..."(vaguely illustrative wrist flaps)"...gays."
"Oh?"
"Yes," he continued, "there were five of them. I think it is a record for one trip."
"I see." I wasn't sure where this was going but I was fairly sure the conversation would become awkward for me very quickly. I was right.
In an outburst he suddenly said, "what makes them become like this, these homosexuals? How can they...why do they...What makes them become gay?"
I didn't quite know what to answer. Delicate subjects are best discussed at times other than 7am-post-overnight-train-pre-breakfast. I started to answer with an "um," but he continued.
"I think they are very ugly. I think maybe they're so ugly that no woman would have them. That's why they look at each other. And lesbians? I think maybe they always fought with their fathers. Maybe their first boyfriends were bad. That's why they don't like men."
I had to answer something, however unpopular the response.
"Actually...I think it's biology."
He looked shocked.
"Biology? No, there is no reason for it to be biology." His expression of shock grew as the idea expanded in his mind. "If it was biology...that would mean there would be gay people here...Mongolian people...no, it can't be."
He was clearly at a loss.
I said something about it being ten percent of the population worldwide, and he answered with a hmph and a change of subject. I thought it was just as well. It was a strange way to start the morning.

In some ways his question surprised me. Not so much the question itself, but the fact that it came from him. He knows a lot about Mongolia, its culture and its history, much more so than the average citizen. He knows that in shamanism here hermaphrodites were once considered sacred. (I know this because the subject came up in somebody's joke once and he didn't understand the English word. When the term had been explained he said yes, people like these used to be special shamans). Given that he knew this, I'm surprised that he considered the possibility of homosexuality in Mongolia shocking. But maybe he thinks that's all in the past. Nothing continues today.

Later in the afternoon, I saw part of the movie "V for Vendetta" dubbed in Mongolian, playing on the tv in the hotel lobby. It was the part of the film where Evey is in prison, receiving messages from the cell next door. The life and loves of Valerie were there onscreen, a lesbian narrative dubbed in Mongolian, and I have to assume the translation was accurate. But none of the hotel staff seemed to be paying attention. I wished that the local guide was there to see the movie. I don't know if it would have helped. But I think that the main thing that makes homosexuality scary for people is its unfamiliarity. The guide asked in his outburst about gay people, why they didn't want "another half, a partner." I didn't get a chance to say that they do want those things, just in a different form. But I think if more people were exposed to homosexuality they would realize it's simply a relationship composed in a different way.

And with that thought, I'm going to finally go to sleep and end my obscenely long day.

And...nyet

A few minutes ago I was talking to my Russian housemate over tea, and she mentioned a male friend of hers whose wife had just given birth. Apparently it was a difficult delivery. She said it made her feel scared.

I asked her if she wanted children, and she matter-of-factly said "of course," as though it weren't even a question that needed to be asked. Then she suddenly looked at me with an expression of dawning horror and asked me, "don't you?"

When I admitted that no, in fact, I don't want kids she looked completely shocked. "Why not," she asked.
"Because I don't. I never have. It's just not something that I want."
She continued to look shocked, so I told her that I do like kids as long as I can give them back to someone else after an hour or two. That didn't really seem to help.
"You surprise me," she said finally. Then she got up to go do work.

Well then. Nyet.

It's ironic. This woman is probably my best friend in Russia. We get along really well, we go to dance classes together, we share meals, we drink tea. I was actually debating coming out to her, because I thought that she might be open minded, might possibly understand. I'm glad we had this conversation first before I thought about it too much more. The level of shock she showed at my not wanting kids probably indicates that the reaction would be seismic if I revealed that I also don't want a man.

I just don't understand why it's a big deal. I wasn't put on earth to fulfill some biological imperative, or to follow anyone's agenda other than my own. I don't see why it's shocking that a woman wouldn't want a husband or kids. Regardless of whether she's gay or straight.

I'm glad that I'm leaving Russia soon. I love this country in many ways. But I need to be in a place where my way of life is unremarkable. Where no one gives a damn if I date a woman and don't want kids.

Chinese and Mongolian Pride

I thought, since I posted about Moscow Pride (or rather, the lack thereof in any official sense), that I should post something about Pride in other places as well. For Russia, Moscow and St. Petersburg are the only places large and cosmopolitan enough to be contenders for pride events in a relatively conservative country. Moscow we've already established had Pride planned and then shut down. Googling St. Petersburg Pride gave me lots of results for St. Petersburg, Florida (biggest Pride event in the Southeast, apparently), but none whatsoever for Russia. It's possible that I just didn't look hard enough. But for all intents and purposes, Russian Pride cannot be officially found.

What about Chinese Pride? As I left Beijing I found an article about the first ever set of gay pride events in China being planned in Shanghai. They were largely being organized by expats, and all advertisements for the events were circulated in English. It was thought that if the events were billed as entertainment for foreigners they would attract less government attention. Which was mostly right. When the time came to hold the festivities, some were indeed shut down. But most took place as scheduled. I find it ironic that between Russia and China, the country that's widely considered to have a much more repressive government was the one that allowed gay pride events to take place.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/15/world/asia/15shanghai.html?pagewanted=1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/15/shanghai-pride-china-gay_n_215785.html

What about Mongolia? Since I've been there recently also I feel I shouldn't leave it out. To the best of my knowledge, Mongolia has no organized pride events, and any gay culture is very, very underground. But there were Mongolian participants at a pride event last January in Thailand. So clearly, some kind of scene exists.

http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/2008/01/30/2000.chiangmais-first-gay-pride-march

Apparently in Moscow I Deserve to Be Killed

At least, this is what Moscow's mayor says. Seventy-two-year-old conservative mayor Yuri Luzhkov made a televised statement just before banning the attempted Moscow Pride Parade that "Our society has healthy morals and rejects all these queers. If you even imagine that they get permission to hold their parade and gather, they will simply be killed."
http://www.gayrussia.ru/en/news/detail.php?ID=13543

Good to know. On the one hand, I find it chilling that a political leader can get away with saying that people from any minority group can and should be killed. World history has shown that bad things usually follow these kinds of statements. On the other hand, I appreciate the honesty. There's something refreshing about knowing exactly where things stand. He thinks we're evil and deserve to die. Clean cut, black and white. None of that "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing that you get from the more tolerant members of the Christian Right back at home, which often comes accompanied by the two-faced, smiling assurance that you're going directly to hell. The overall sentiment in both cases may be similarly hostile, but somehow I have far less fear of being lynched in Moscow than I would in, say, rural Wyoming if I ever went there.

I haven't been in Russia long, but I've noticed a pattern to the way things work here. Rules are both convoluted and rampant. They are also largely ignored. Drinking in public is illegal, but people drink beer on the way to work, and a common evening pastime is to take a bottle of wine to a park with your friends. It's illegal to drink vodka on the trains, but most trains sell vodka in the dining cars. I've yet to be stopped for drinking vodka on trains with any of my groups so far, but I'm told that the appropriate course of action if it happens is to offer the policeman a drink.

Point being, as long as you stay out of general view of the authorities in Russia, you can do pretty much whatever you want. Moscow's mayor thinks gay people should not exist, but the gay scene is alive and well. Lonely Planet lists three or four locations, and there certainly must be more. Traditionally, the gay scene in most places has always been underground, and with good reason, since in almost every society gay and gender-variant people are seen with suspicion at best and outright hatred at worst. So we stick to the shadows, and most mainstream people don't even think about us or know we exist until and unless we try to make ourselves visible. Like with Pride.

I'm thinking about Pride, because my girlfriend reminded me the other night that once again I'm missing DC Pride, which I've heard is a sight to behold. I'm also missing Boston Pride, St. Pete (Florida) Pride, Paris Pride, and pretty much any other Pride you can think of in any of the places I used to live. I wasn't even in Moscow for the abortive attempt at the pride parade that got shut down by the riot police 30 seconds after it began. In general I think that Pride is great, because it's a fun way to get ourselves out of the closet and be completely out in the open, for once in a year. In countries like Russia, though, the idea of Pride itself is controversial. One person interviewed by Time said that he just wants to be treated like everyone else, and running around screaming that he's gay is not going to achieve that.
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1899340,00.html

It's a valid point. Everyone might want more acceptance and more rights, but very few people want to be the ones to stick their necks out in the effort to achieve this. I'm no exception; for all that I technically work for a company with an inclusive non-discrimination clause, the fact that I work on the ground in countries like Russia and Morocco effectively means that coming out would be one of the stupidest things I could possibly do. I have no desire to make my life any more complicated than it really needs to be, and I don't want to be the "face of diversity" in my company or anywhere else. I just want to live my life and have that be okay. It's all anyone really wants. It's just difficult to be both visible and acceptable. In general, you have to choose.

Same Same but Different

St. Petersburg and Moscow both have extensive metro systems, and one of the most common sights you'll see on the uberlong escalators is of young couples cuddling, kissing, or otherwise engaging in rather sickening public displays of affection. I generally ignore these couples, think sour thoughts at them and look away, because in general I a) think these activities are better done in private and b) would rather not be reminded that I'm several thousand miles away from the only person with whom I could engage in such activities. Last night on the metro I saw another one of these couples, and as they were right below me I found them hard to ignore. When they came up for air, though, my opinion of them changed drastically.

They were both female.

Living for a year in a country in which homosexuality is illegal, I developed a keen sense of Things You Do Not Do Or Say In Public. Clearly, these girls had no such sense. They were totally absorbed in each other, and they didn't care who saw it. Because whoever saw it didn't matter. No one paid them any attention at all. It's amazing to think that homosexuality could be such a nonissue. It's so politicized in the States, often needlessly so, and while there are places where it's a nonissue, there are more places where it's a Very Big Deal. I'm not so naive as to think that all of Russia will be like this, as it's even larger than the US and has far more rural areas. And I'm certainly not taking it as a sign that I should come out to my coworkers, because I like to keep my personal life private and separate from my public self. But still. It's nice to know that there are mainstream places where young queer couples don't have to worry overmuch about expressing who they are. It gladddens my queer-happy heart.

Klein Grid

A while ago (as in, a few weeks ago), I took a short version of the Klein test for sexual orientation, out of curiosity to see if a somewhat standard test would give results in line with my own self-perception.



It came out more bisexual than I think is really accurate, largely because for the set of questions about who I'd been hanging out with for the past year (not dating, just people I spent time with) I had to answer "mostly male." This was more out of necessity than actual choice; who you hang out with has a lot to do with who's available, and most of the people I knew in Morocco were men. In general I think I'm about 80% gay, but it's not even really as simple as that. I'm attracted to people who fall outside gender norms. So if the pool of people I could potentially date was set at ten, seven would be female, one would be male, and two would be so completely androgynous that no one who wasn't dating them would be able to tell. And all of them would be androgynous to some degree. I think that tests of this nature fall short of accuracy because they fail to take into account that gender itself is not a binary. There isn't just a spectrum of gender-orientation, there's a full spectrum of gender-identity. But no one in research circles is likely to try to quantify that fact for at least another ten years.

More Good News (and questions of language)

Huzzah! We now officially have four states in which it's legal for same-sex couples to get married, now that Vermont has joined the team. And our nation's capital has taken the unexpectedly enlightened step of recognizing same-sex unions performed elsewhere, even if not allowing same-sex unions of its own. Hamdulilah, life is becoming good.

On a completely different note, one I'd planned to blog about before I got the celebratory news of increased legality, I'd like to talk about language. Ever since I started learning foreign languages, I've always been fascinated by the idea of gendered words. From the obvious and inane middle-school jokes about "how can you tell if this pencil's a boy or a girl?" to more evolved questions in high school and college, gendered words have always held questions. Why, for example, is the moon in Europe almost always considered feminine and the sun masculine? Why is it reversed in Japan? Who came up with gendered language in the first place? And does it actually affect how we think about the words themselves? I've had several people scoff at this last question, but a researcher at Stanford has now decided to look at this question as well. Her findings? People do indeed think differently about differently gendered words.

When you think of a bridge, how would you describe it?



Which of these sets of descriptions would you describe as more masculine or feminine?








As it turns out, the set of more "masculine" attributes--"strong, sturdy, towering, etc." was chosen by people whose primary language is Spanish, in which "bridge" is a masculine word. The set of more "feminine" attributes was chosen by people whose main language is German, in which "bridge" is a feminine word.

So does gendered language affect peoples' perceptions of objects? I think so. The question now becomes, what do speakers of an ungendered language like English have to say?

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102518565&ft=1&f=1007

Iowa!? Yay!!!

So...I would never have thought that Iowa of all places would do this...but their Supreme Court just legalized gay marriage! Happy days are here :)

http://www.hrcbackstory.org/2009/04/human-rights-campaign-applauds-iowa-supreme-court-decision-on-marriage-rallies-to-be-held-across-the-state/

Maybe this means that there's hope for the rest of the nation...

God Hates...Fruit?

This image has been shamelessly stolen from a friend's livejournal blog, because it's one of the funniest pamphlets that I've recently seen. Read it and believe. God hates fruit.

Don't ask, don't tell?

I just read an article stating that the people who originally convened to instate teh "don't ask, don't tell" policy in the military barely even knew what the phrase "sexual orientation" meant when they first started discussing the issue. They came up with the policy in the name of "unit cohesion," the idea that if there were gay people in the military it would make military groups less able to work together, or something like that. That straight people would be squicked out and not want to deal with people who weren't like them.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nathaniel-frank/as-congress-moves-to-end_b_171070.html

Of course, nowadays, now that several people have been kicked out of the military for being gay, more are being kept in because it seems like people just don't really care about it any more. One service member announced that he was gay on "60 Minutes" and has had felt no military ramifications whatsoever.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2008-01-07-gay-troops_N.htm

I get the feeling that the more people who die in Iraq, and the more people want to get out of Iraq, the less people will care about who exactly it is that's serving as long as they're doing their job.

What happened to my hair?

Last week, I got a haircut for free. And was reminded acutely that you get what you pay for. It seemed like a good idea at the time. A salon was advertising for models to display different styles. I figured I'd go in, have something new and interesting done, and go out feeling like I'd gotten the change I needed. When I got there, though, I discovered to my chagrin that I was the only model who'd signed up (I use the term "model" loosely here, meaning only someone who's willing to go to the hairdressing seat blindfolded). An hour and a half later, after the tender ministrations of ten people struggling to perfect a new cut, my hair was significantly shorter and highly voluminous (never cut curly hair for volume. It leads to something looking suspiciously like a 'fro). I spent the next few days investing in headbands, hairclips, and styling products to mitigate the 'do. I even bought a bottle of purple hair dye, which I haven't gotten up the impetus to use just yet, but that is waiting as soon as I'm sure I won't have an interview anytime soon.

All this got me to thinking...is my hair gay? There's a fine longstanding tradition of lesbian hair, but it's generally limited to buzzcuts, fifteen-year-old-boy-cuts, and the fortunately out of date mullet, which is thankfully rarely seen anymore. My former long, flowing locks were certainly good at getting attention (at one point in college I had three friends fondling my curls and saying that my hair deserved to be groped, looking like it did). But Botticelli-style waves are not inherently gay. Neither, I think, are short, fluffy curls, though they're probably a bit closer. My girlfriend tells me that short hair is hot. It might be. Research has shown me that my current cut does not meet the accepted definition of "lesbian hair" (which, oddly enough, is not "hair that belongs to a lesbian.")

Apparently, there are references to specific cuts:

http://www.lesbiatopia.com/2007/03/lesbian-hair-good-bad-and-ugly.html

http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/community/lesbian-hair-the-secrets-untangled/

And certain stars have apparently been seen sporting some of them:
http://www.afterellen.com/blog/dorothysnarker/lesbian-hair-makes-a-comeback

I think that I'm actually somewhat relieved. Not having lesbian hair means that I don't fit into a stereotype, which is always good, in my book. And I admit, I enjoy being ambiguous, in this as in other things. So while my haircut may be interesting and unusual, it does not mark me as gay. So people will still have to wonder ;)

Homecoming Queen

George Mason University has a homecoming queen. Who happens to be male. I think that this is absolutely fabulous.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/19/AR2009021901780.html?hpid=artslot

It reminded me of a few other articles I'd seen in past years, about gay or transgendered prom kings and queens.

In 2007:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/222121/not_your_normal_prom_king_transgender.html?cat=62

In 2001: http://www.komonews.com/news/archive/4004466.html

At my high school, something like this would not have happened. At my high school, when I went there, two people of the same sex couldn't even buy homecoming tickets together, let alone be obviously on a date. And while I wasn't aware of my orientation in high school, I did think it unfair that my large group of dateless friends couldn't all get together and buy double tickets. It had nothing to do with gender, back then, and everything to do with economics. Double tickets were cheaper by about ten bucks. But we all bought individual tickets and went as a group and had a fabulous, dateless time.

Things may have changed at my school by now. I don't really know, and I don't particularly care, since I'm no longer there to deal with it. My senior year, someone started a Gay-Straight Alliance. I was already overinvolved and so never went to a meeting, but I was glad that it was there. It might still be there, or it might not. It's someone else's battle to fight, in any case. But it makes me glad to know that somewhere out there, gay teens are visible and making their voices heard.

It's Milk!

My girlfriend and I watched the Academy Awards last night. It's not something I'm inclined to do normally, because I live under a metaphorical rock and have usually never seen most of the movies up for awards. This year was much the same except for one notable exception: Milk. The film was a biography of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office in the United States. It was incredibly well made, offering up a story known mostly to people in gay culture and making it accessible to a wider audience. How wide is debatable, since it wasn't one of the more widely distributed movies of the year. When my girlfriend came to visit me in Florida we had to drive for over an hour to see it at the one theater in the area where it was listed.

It was worth the drive.

We both agreed that Sean Penn deserved an Oscar. He became Harvey Milk, so much so that clips of photos from the '70s interspersed with footage of the film were almost indistinguishable. That Penn as an actor could create a character who was clearly gay without once approaching the line of stereotype is nothing short of a miracle, one that everyone in the gay community viewed with both relief and applause.

The film drew several Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and Best Original Screenplay. It won two, Best Actor and Best Screenplay, both well deserved. The movie was incredibly well-written, told in a series of narratives and flashbacks that highlighted the most important aspects of Milk's life. And Sean Penn, as I said before, was simply amazing.

Both Penn and Dustin Lance Black, the writer, alluded to Prop 8 in their acceptance speeches. It's an important reminder that while Milk died thirty years ago, the issues he worked hard for are still timely in our society today.

Black's Speech:



Penn's Speech:



My thanks to both of them for making this amazing movie, and for recognizing its importance in our country today. Hopefully their statements and these awards will raise consciousness for those who still haven't figured out that people are people, no matter who they love. Blessed be.